The way you’ve been looking at the challenges in your life is failing you.
Right now, you think that when shit comes up that you don’t like, you pray it away, asking for life to be easier somehow.
I want to suggest that that is the wrong kind of prayer.
Sure, asking for life to get easier feels right. Who wouldn’t want a cushy, easy, non-resistant, problem-free life, right?
But looking deeper, resistance is actually necessary in order to grow.
Think about your biggest life lessons. The moments in your life where you learned the most. The moments where you come out the other side so damn proud of yourself because you accomplished something you didn’t think you’d be able to.
In my 20s, I walked away from an 8 year relationship with a man who wasn’t ready to fully commit to me and at the time it felt like the most difficult thing I had ever confronted. I loved him so much and I had so much time invested in the relationship, leaving him meant leaving so much more than just him. I had a lot of my identity wrapped up in that relationship (different convo for a different day) and we shared mutual friends and the list goes on. Severing the relationship completely felt more painful than the dull ache of staying, but I knew I had to do it.
And it turned out to be the biggest opportunity for growth in my life.
Think about the biggest struggles you’ve gone through. Once the dust settles, you can always harvest valuable life lessons that make you feel strong, confident, and capable.
When you run away from challenge, you don’t give yourself the opportunity to grow.
But if you accept the challenges that life lovingly gives you, you develop the muscles and the strength to handle more from life with ease.
If you really think about it, do you really want life to be easy all of the time?
Sure, it sounds nice on paper. But wouldn’t that actually get kinda old after a while?
Like playing a game that you instantly won, or won every single time guaranteed. Where’s the fun in that? What do you actually learn from that?
There’s evidence of struggle and growth in all of life’s expression! A baby chick has to struggle and fight to get out of the egg shell. If the chick waited until it was easier to break free, it would literally die!
A seed has to struggle to develop roots before it sprouts into a beautiful plant. If it just wanted to see the sun all day without the digging of deeper roots in the dark soil, it would topple over at the first gust of wind!
Think about that!
If you didn’t develop deep roots, wouldn’t YOU topple over when pushed by life?
You don’t want that!
You want to be strong! You want to be capable! You want to stand firm with both feet planted when the storm comes!
For those of us asking for an easier life, perhaps we are making the wrong request.
Maybe instead of asking for things to get easier, the better request would be to receive loving guidance, supernatural support, and reassurance that we will survive and come out stronger.
I know that for me, when I walked away from the only real, adult relationship I ever knew with no guarantees that I would ever love again (I know it sounds dramatic, but anyone who has ever walked away from true love knows what I mean), I was so damn proud of myself. I knew how to create healthy boundaries for myself in future relationships, and I learned how to walk away with confidence when those boundaries were crossed.
I had developed certain muscles that helped me to become strong in areas I was once weak. I had experience that I could’ve only received through the pain of the ending of that relationship. And I can now see the purpose and necessity for that challenge.
So much of what we now enjoy is heightened because of our past struggles. (Ex: I appreciate my husband’s attentiveness and loyalty so much more because of my past relationships!)
So while taking it easy and having life handed to you on a silver platter does sound enticing, especially when you’re in the middle of a shit storm, just realize that there’s a reason for the storm and it is for your benefit.
Remembering this when it really matters isn’t always the easiest thing to do. So I’m giving you a few tools to help bring you back to calm when it feels like you can’t handle what life is handing you at the moment:
- It always gets better! Pain is inevitable, but it is also temporary. I know it sounds trite, but this too shall end.
- Tap your way to relief! Use EFT/Tapping to relieve negative emotions that feel overwhelming.
- Focus on your feelings. Retelling your story is only going to create more negative energy and keep you stuck. Focusing on your feelings brings you into your body and into this present moment where real healing can begin.
- Practice love and acceptance. There is a beautiful shift in energy when love and acceptance are brought into the equation. The struggle that once felt impossible and insurmountable is instantly lifted and relief is palpable. Trust me! Love and acceptance for all things as they are has been my biggest teacher!
I would love to hear if you have any other practices that have helped you through a challenge that felt impossible in the moment, but ended up being one of your greatest gifts! Comment below with yours!
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