Confession time: I spent over $10,000 looking for answers outside of me, when all along they were waiting to be discovered within.
I felt empty. Stuck. There was so much that I wanted and every single day that passed, I felt more desperate to get unstuck.
Whatever the fuck that even meant.
I had a vision for my life. I wanted to be a powerful speaker and life-changer, inspiring women to reach higher heights, be in control of their destiny, and manifest some really cool shit in this lifetime.
I wanted to be a messenger for God/the Divine.
And I KNEW that I was called for just that.
But that vision was only tangible from the expanded version of me; from my higher self.
My small self never felt good enough. From that perspective, I just couldn’t do it. I never knew what to say, feared being judged, wondered what other people thought.
I showed up trying to just say what I thought people wanted to hear or maybe not even that. There were days when I’d just show up because I thought I was supposed to. I had to make an “appearance” so that FB would continue to show my content.
Although my prayer each day was: “God, speak through me. Allow your words to flow from my mouth and influence my message. Just let me be the messenger!”
I would never allow God to just show up.
I guess it was the idea of being vulnerable and just showing up without an agenda. What if I fucked up royally? What if I had nothing to say?
That’s scary.
Frightening.
Especially for a control freak who cared more about what people thought about her than what she knew was inherently true.
So instead of just being a channel and showing up and yes, falling down if that’s what happened….
I paid a shit ton of money in search of someone outside of me who could tell me what my message should be.
(Hint: that. does. not. work)
The cool thing about maxing out a credit card that now you hafta pay is it kinda backs you into a corner and makes you think outside of the box.
I knew that I had to start doing things differently.
I had to think differently.
I had to see myself differently.
I had to believe things that my Higher Self already knew about me that I didn’t believe yet.
I had to!
My life couldn’t be up to me anymore. Because it just wasn’t working out. I had to hand things over to God. Like, for real.
I went dark.
I waited.
I sat.
I felt.
I got real with myself, my soul, and God.
And the truth started revealing itself to me.
The truth that I wasn’t being authentic and showing up for the right reasons.
The truth that my motivation for doing things was all wrong.
The truth that I was still trying to run the show and expecting God to work miracles while I controlled every aspect of my life.
I still don’t have all the answers. I’m actually understanding now that I never will.
I don’t have to.
My larger self does.
And because I am part of that, I can feel complete inner peace knowing that when I get out of the way, any answer I require will be revealed to me at just the right time.
One thing I do know is that all the answers I need are within me.
And the same goes for you.
Nobody else can find those answers for you. They can’t tell you something you don’t already know.
If you’re seeking outside of you for the answers, you might want to stop and take that into consideration.
The answers you’re looking for aren’t in the pages of some book you read. They definitely won’t be revealed to you because you spent thousands of dollars thinking someone else was more worthy of you to receive the divine download of your life’s mission.
They are within you.
And while the right coach can guide you to discover what that is for yourself,
you’re still going to have to dig until YOU find it.
And if you don’t know where to start, PM me. I’ll help you to start forming the best questions that will get you the answers you’ve been looking for (from your soul to you with love!)
xoxo I love you!