My prayer has been “God, guide me!” for years. Today I finally allowed it to happen.
I was remembering when I first started journaling consistently maybe 2 years ago, when I was really struggling to feel confident about what I had to say to the world. As a new coach, I wanted to show up for my audience in a way that was inspiring, captivating, and transformative. The only way I could really speak from a place of power and inspiration was to allow God to speak through me.
And I knew that.
So I prayed. Daily. “God, use me! Be the words on my lips, the thoughts in my mind. I want to be guided to share whatever wants to come through me.”
And then I would seek a passage from a book, or watch an inspiring video for the inspiration I thought would be perfect for the day.
And every day I would kind of secretly struggle a little bit. I wouldn’t love the message that I spoke. I would end a video and feel discouraged, untalented….constantly comparing myself to others who seemed to speak better than I did, who always seemed to know exactly what to say, who spoke from their hearts.
It’s not like I didn’t know enough. I had studied hours a day for years at this point. But why didn’t the teaching feel natural yet?
I even wrote to my business coach how I felt like I just didn’t have the skills/talent to put the information that was in my head out into the world in a way that was unique, different, and “ME”.
Yet every day I would still pray that God guide me.
I finally realized that I could pray every day as hard as I could but if I DIDN’T GET OUT OF THE WAY, I would never experience His guidance. Not because it wasn’t available. But because I wasn’t allowing it.
It was if I wanted to be a channel for God, but had to control what came through. Uh…nope. Sorry. That doesn’t work. I can either cut my power off and control, or I can become an unlimited vessel in complete surrender.
If you choose control, you can have it. But you have to realize that things aren’t gonna turn out so great. You’ll be cutting yourself off from your life force energy. It’s like driving a car and deciding to blindfold yourself to see how good you can do without vision.
In any moment, you can choose guidance. And when you do that, and truly ALLOW that guidance by getting out of the way, you make yourself available to the resources that are only available through God. Power, abundance, creativity, guidance, brilliance, peace, flow, joy. To me, it’s a no-brainer.
But even thought it’s a no-brainer, it doesn’t mean that it’s super easy to do. Your smaller self is going to fight it. You’ve been doing things a certain way for a lifetime and now you’re trying to shake things up.
So go easy on yourself and don’t expect everything to change in a day. Love yourself through the transition and when you get caught up in trying to control again, just laugh and release control in that moment.
Living from this place is so peaceful, yet your small self will crave the chaos for a while. Not because it’s best for you, but because it’s familiar.
Celebrate the small successes. Don’t take score unless it works in your favor. You’ll notice that everything really does start to work better when you remove your small self from the driver’s seat and give God/Higher Self control.
